Thursday, 20 March 2008

Bloody parents CRAZY PEOPLE, ruining things for the rest of us.

To me this seems like an entirely pointless sentiment, so this will no doubt be scathingly written.

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As a quick disclaimer, I use "you" to mean generic human person not necessarily YOU!

As Patrick said, selfishness is a part of humans so not having a kid so that you can be less selfish is not by any means a cure to the problem.

Anyway, if the writer is going to suggest not having your own kids to reduce resource use, why not suggest not driving anywhere or even not using electricity (IE. TO POWER THE COMPUTER SHE'S USING TO WRITE THIS DAMNED THING) or to teach your kids to conserve resources etc. that's what my parents did, I actually care about the planet so try to do stuff to help (I could do more, but I'm still a little too lazy). It seems a bit of an obscure point, also if this is to be a global thing, then surely the number of children to be adopted will be less than the demand. Also, my knowledge is not great on this, but from the little I know it seems that adopting and raising a kid is not the same as having your own kids, there are various psychological things to go with it. Also try inforcing it, China has (had) a one child policy and that was hardly popular, but then is that what we're getting at with this?

I'm not sure whether the reasons behind a decision to have kids can be compressed into 9 statements, and then just because you can think of 13 reasons not to have kids, it's a clear cut argument, this in not the case, and never should be. Lists of Pros and Cons need weighting for certain things, making them more important than others. (I really want to produce an absurd list making this point, but I'm too lazy)

He're my opinions on the given lists:


* Personal experience – to have the experience of being a parent
- selfish
* Personal pleasure – the fun and joy of raising children
- selfish, but then we all know that raising kids isn't fun fun fun, they get to an age where they're just plain annoying and demanding and then they become teenagers and turn into complete turds (well that's what I did, although not so much on the demanding side).
* Personal extension – carrying on the genetic heritage or family name
- selfish/vain
* Relationship – the close bond which is shared with children
- not overly selfish
* Personal status – culture affords some respect just for being a parent
- bollocks, when is this the case? how many people do you know who thought "I'm going to have a kid so that people can look at me better"
* Personal competence – gratification from facing the challenge of parenting
- selfish (but only really the gratification bit, the actually facing the challenge is not necessarily selfish)
* Personal responsibility – the opportunity to look out for the welfare and education of another
- unselfish, unless not thinking about yourself can be classed as selfish
* Personal power – some find the power they have over children gratifying
- this is a common reason for becoming a child abuser not a parent
* Moral worth – some feel it is a good and selfless act to put the life of another first, or that it is a moral obligation to have children
- Again not sure if many people think "hey I must have a kid, if I don't I'll be being a bad person"

Bloggers Additions

* Biological/emotional desire for pregnancy
- selfish, but then who really wants to grow enormously, fell sick frequently, have trouble using the bathroom and then have to push a thing the size of a water melon out of their lady bits?
* Seeing the resulting genetic mix (actually, this is already mentioned under Personal extension, but I want to make the classic ‘physical expression of our love’ point)
- selfish, although anything which has my genes is probably going to wish it was dead.
* The world needs more of my genes
- selfish/stupid/vain/shush!, it's hardly a common reason to have a kid

So all in all not 100% selfish or common really, This hardly paints a good view of parents if their main motivation for having a kid is to play around with genes and stuff like that, if that's the case just go and buy spore when it's released. let's move on.


* Time together – more time each other and for other interests
- selfish
* Freedom – more opportunity to pursue other areas of life
- selfish
* Other children – can enjoy other children, and can help children who are already here through foster parenting or charity work with children
- errr. what, enjoy other children, this must be one of those things that can't be done when you're a parent, just too much to do with your own kids to do anything else.
* Dual careers – both people may pursue careers full time, a person (woman) does not have to quit, and a child is not raised by day care
- selfish, "We wants more money!!!" and I now of some stay at home dads. Also don't send your kid to a daycare for so long, go home and spend time with them.
* Financial security – more money to pursue other interests
- selfish, what other interests will you do? computer games, fine dinners, nice car, feed the poor (unlikely).
* Community welfare – greater opportunity to get involved in community organizations
- unselfish, but then why do people do community support? some do it for gratification, moral superiority etc.
* Difficulty – parenthood is a demanding and difficult job which is not always enjoyable
- Then you should just quit before things get to hard. Life is not always easy, deal with it.
* Strain on environmental resources – the world is already overpopulated and is unable to support the people who are already here
- unselfish, but not having kids doesn't solve this, we'll still pump out crap and burn oil and rip down trees etc. etc.
* Increase in overpopulation – having children geometrically increases this problem and all of the problems that come with it
- Repeat of above point.
* Choice not mandate – parenthood has to be a choice, not everyone is meant to be a parent
- Sorry are we dealing with the issue of forced parenthood, ahh now it all makes sense, yeah I agree, we shouldn't be forced to have kids, oh no wait this is a stupid point.
* Irrevocable decision – once the decision is made it cannot be changed, so people must be sure it is what they want
- Well yeah we should never do anything that can't be Ctrl-Zd, shame I can't go back in time and undo half of the stupid things I've done in the past. Also not really a reason to not have kids, just a piece of advice for those pondering.
* Failure – some people had unhappy or abusive childhoods and fear that they would not be a good parent
- then stand up to the challenge and don't be your parents/abuser, or don't have kids.
* Danger – the world is a dangerous place and it is not right to bring a child into it
- so is taking a crap, you never know when a crocodile could come up and bite your bum. Or more seriously, so are so many things we do on a daily basis, let's go hide in a cupboard and hope it all goes away.

So there's some selfish reasons for not having kids and some stupid points.

"I’m afraid I cannot think of a single justifiable reason to sexually reproduce in this day and age."

- Then think harder and stop being crazy!

On the whole it seems that some of the CONS points are more about a case by case approach to things, not just having kids to have kids, but really thinking about it and making sure it's what you want. I really don't think that it is as clear cut as that blog made out, having a kid is not ethically/morally unsound, but it can't also be classed as 100% ethical/moral, but then what can?

I guess there may be differences in my attitude because of being a Christian, I'm not going to have a kid for the sake of it, I'm going to have one because I really want one and for many other reasons besides that. It also comes down to my desire not to be told not to have kids by some crazy person. But that may just be me being selfish.

"For anybody who attaches any value whatsoever to other human beings [i.e. if you say you are opposed to human suffering as a principle, and you think you really mean this] I am pretty sure the only non-schizophrenic, logical conclusion is that you should not create a baby. Go on, correct me. I’d love an ethical baby someday."

- Yeah, going for the whole 2=2=4,576 BILLION! If you're opposed to human suffering as a principle then you need to stop driving a car, people are suffering in Iraq because of it, you need to stop eating anything that isn't fair/equitraded or imported into the country for cheap, you need to not buy anything from any highstreet shops, you need to not buy meat that hasn't come from a farmer that isn't being ripped off, you need to do so many other things aside from not having kids it's untrue. Also I'm not sure if you can class this decision as logical and she's most likely going to have a kid whether or not she gets corrected, which will undoubtedly come down to selfishness and finally by way of a total dig, schizophrenia has very little to do with this decision, I think she meant split-personality disorder and made the common mistake, oh well.

1 comment:

jeremy said...

Wait! I'm confused. People actually plan to have kids? For us, it just happened. We thought it was either "destiny" or God punishing us for drinking beer and making eyes at each other. When it happened the second time, we thought God must be really trying hard to teach us a lesson that didn't stick the first time.

Having kids or not having kids. Who cares, if it happens it happens. Deal with it.
This article sounds to me like it was written by someone who doesn't have kids. Maybe I'm wrong.

I can say this though, having kids is THE HARDEST thing I've ever done, AND the most rewarding. Rewarding in very unquantifiable ways. They are little leeches that just suck you dry, but when they look at you with those loving little kid eyes and it warms the deepest depths of your heart, you know it was all worth it. And then they puke on your cashmere sweater.