On Lunch

I forgot my lunch today. I think it was probably the fault of the olympics. Waking up to live sport on BBC1 instead of the news apparently messes with my internal compass to the extent that I forget I need sandwiches. In any case, once I realise that I have nothing to eat, I have to decide whether to go out and buy something, or settle for produce from the "sandwich man". Not a bread-based superhero, as you perhaps might suspect, but a gentleman who brings sandwiches around the office on a trolley, somewhat disconcertingly announcing himself by shouting "sandwich man" at the top of his lungs. I've never investigated, but I like to think that he refers to himself using that moniker (and in the third person) in all his conversations.

In any case, his sandwichwes, while relatively cheap, and a convenient 4 second walk from my desk, are not the most impressive creations, being somewhat high in stodge and low in delicious. So I made the 60 second trek outside to the local Subway, where my order got the usual reaction:

"What salad would you like?"

"None, thanks"

"None at all?"

"Nope"

"Sauces?"

"No thanks, nothing".

"Salt and pepper?"

"No, nothing at all"

"You sure. Nothing?"

"Yes, I'm sure"

" ...ok..."

I know that people generally find it strange that I don't like salad, and that I would rather not put a load of stuff I don't like in a sandwich, but this is the reaction I get every time I go to subway, from the staff, and from anyone I'm with. Is it really that unusual to just want a sandwich? With meat and cheese? Why is it so strange to not want to garnish it with a hundred million other flavours? I like the taste of meat and cheese and that's what I've asked for in my sandwich.

It's like on a menu, where "fish and chips" means "fish, chips, and half a plate of salad". Please food-providers of the world, give me a choice. And don't act like I'm some sort of lunatic if I choose not to fill my meal with vegetation. I don't like my lunch to be served with a side of judgementalism.