Tuesday, 29 July 2008

"As drunk by"

There is an advert on a phonebox in the town where I live which really annoys me for a number of reasons. It is an advert for Oasis fruit juices. The opening line of text reads "As drunk by Cactus Kid" and the caption at the bottom is "Oasis, for people who don't like water."

The reasons for the annoyance are manifold:
1. Although "As drunk by" may be grammatically correct (and I'm not entirely sure it is, but couldn't think of how else they could say it), the phraseology is awkward and sounds clumsy, which doesn't give a good impression of their brand image.
2. The picture shows a male figure who is a cactus with hair and face wearing a wife-beater vest. He has spikes. Although not apparently on the area of skin under the vest. He looks fairly buff and toned, for a young man who is a cactus. Are we to believe that one who is apparently bursting out of such a shirt, would not make holes on it with the spikes that would ordinarily cover his body? Maybe his vest is made of kevlar. It's this season's desert wear for the discerning follower of fashion. Or maybe he got a chest wax. Either way, it's weird.
3. And lastly, and most annoying: "For people who don't like water" doesn't make any sense whatsoever when referring to cacti. They love water, they just can't get enough of it. That's why they have the spikes, to minimize water loss through evaporation. Likewise the wax on the surface of the plant and the pleated folds in the structure of the plant to allow the plant to expand as it takes in water. To say a cactus, even an anthropomorphic catcus, doesn't like water is just plain ridiculous. Perhaps their slogan should have been "Oasis: for people who didn't take GCSE biology/geography and lack a basic understanding of the botany of cacti."

All this may sound frivolous, but it really annoys me when media of any kind, but particularly adverts as they're trying to sell you something, get something fairly major completely wrong.

Anyway, needless to say, I shall not be buying said juices on the basis of that advert. That, and the fact I think they taste disgusting.


TheTelf said...

I've been puzzled by this advert too. From what I can remember of it, I took the vest as being a running vest, rather than a wife-beater one. And as for no spikes on the chest, some guys just don't have spikes there - there's no need to describe it as "weird".

On the "doesn't like water" confusion, though, I'm totally with you. I can't work out why they'd come up with a cactus as something that doesn't like it. Strange decision.

"needless to say, I shall not be buying said juices on the basis of that advert" - as in, because of the advert you'll avoid them, or the advert does not inspire you to buy them where you otherwise would not?

Hanspan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hanspan said...

I reckon both vests look the same from the front.. and a wife-beater would fit in with the whole desert/hot place theme... though a running vest would imply sportiness, getting hot and needing a drink... either way. I may just be misremembering.

He's a cactus! They have spikes everywhere!

Barmy decision.

Because I've bought them in the past and don't like them. And I shall not buy them again if I have the option to choose something else, because I don't believe in supporting products that produce adverts that annoy me :)

TheTelf said...

"a wife-beater would fit in with the whole desert/hot place theme" - and a running vest wouldn't? I'd assume a runner quenching their thirst with non-water would be the kinda image they'd be going for.

"He's a cactus! They have spikes everywhere!" - he's also a man. They don't!

Hanspan said...

Urm, if you read the comment again, you'll find I make a similar suggestion.

He's primarily a cactus. Other than the fact he's a male cactus, the first thing we're told is that he's a cactus. Cacti have spikes.

::contemplates making some comment about males and what spikes they have and decides against it::

TheTelf said...

"Urm, if you read the comment again, you'll find I make a similar suggestion." - this wouldn't happen if you didn't re-write your comments all the time.

"Cacti have spikes." - and, indeed, he does have spikes. Cacti also sometimes have bare patches.

And, on your last point... wuss.