Saturday, 10 October 2009

Twenty five things I've learned in twenty five years

Bit of a cop out entry, but as it's my birthday today I haven't spent a huge amount of time either on my laptop or thinking about blog posts. So, here's my list...

1. Do all the reading you can before you begin your career. Once that's started, books become ornamental rather than things you actually read.

2. The fact that there are always more CDs you can add to your collection does not necessarily guarantee that you'll always have something that you want to listen to.

3. The older you get, the less you care about what other people think and the more you care about what you think.

4. No matter how much you think you and your cat have a loving, trusting relationship, he will always at some point scratch the living hell out of part of your body for no apparent reason.

5. Robbie Williams was, is, and always will be, shit.

6. You will always call (or think of) your own school teachers as "sir" and "miss", even when you have become a teacher yourself.

7. No matter how much cutting down, trimming, culling and simplifying you do, you can never quite bring yourself to entirely delete your Facebook account once you have one.

8. Spam email will eventually find your new email address.

9. American English will never find a more irritating nonsensical idiom than "I could care less".

10. Even if you know in your heart of hearts that reality TV is complete cack, you will end up getting drawn into the voyeurism of it if it is playing on a screen in the vicinity of your vision.

11. The more you stare at it, the more you believe the word "from" shouldn't be a real word.

12. Nothing has a more worthwhile price-to-fun ratio than putting Mentos in cheap bottles of diet cola.

13. If there are no significant advances in telecommunications, eventually the letters F and S will be replaced with one new member of the alphabet.

14. The word "awesome" will never be able to fully regain its original connotations thanks to '90s youth culture.

15. Sequels are rarely better than the original film, but those sequels that manage it are some of the best films ever made.

16. Once you've watched The West Wing, you'll compare every other TV drama series to it.

17. Few words in the English language hold more influence when placed together than these four: "All you can eat".

18. Farts are, and always will be, hilarious (whether you are honest enough to admit it or not).

19. Finding something that you and someone you have just met can both quote from copiously and with ease is one of the quickest ways to break the ice and make friends.

20. Some of the best words in English really are the four letter ones.

21. Even though they are all exactly the same amount of time apart, some ages sound a lot older than the one before them.

22. Dinosaurs were, are, and always will be, awesome.

23. You will always have mornings where, in the first five minutes of being awake, you imagine all the feasible ways you could get out of going to work, before succumbing to reality and getting on with your morning routine with five minutes less than you should have.

24. Fast food is bad. But you will still always have times that you crave it (anyone who claims that they don't has either never tried it or is a compulsive liar).

25. No matter how settled into the idea of being perpetually single you ever become, you will never be able to predict how much more wonderful meeting the person who you fall in love with will be.

1 comment:

TheTelf said...

I agree wholeheartedly with 1, 4, 9, 10, 16, 21, 23, 24 and 25 (though I might change the second "the" to an "a").